A couple sits across from me—married for 15 years, two kids under ten—and they feel lonely, empty, and tired.
They know something is wrong, but the thought of figuring out where to begin feels overwhelming. Their relationship feels like a tightly knotted ball of yarn, woven with years of missed attempts, misunderstandings, and quiet resentments. Each partner wants so badly for the other to finally see them, to reach out, to make things right… but both feel too depleted to take the first step.
And so, they do what so many couples do: they press pause.
They tell themselves it’s not the right time—the kids need us, work is stressful, life is busy. They fear that opening up old hurts might only make the distance wider. But avoiding the pain doesn’t make it disappear. Instead, it slowly stretches them further apart until one day they realize they don’t just feel disconnected from each other—they don’t fully recognize themselves either.
For more than 15 years, I’ve sat with couples in this very place.
I’ve seen the lost look in their eyes, the exhaustion, the confusion. But I’ve also seen the spark of hope that appears the moment they settle onto the couch and begin to share their story. That hope matters. It means something in them still believes change is possible. And it is.
Couples find each other for all sorts of reasons.
Some fall head-over-heels, swept up in a love so strong they can’t imagine a life apart. Others choose each other to feel grounded, to escape a painful past, or to create a new version of the world they grew up in. Many don’t realize it at the time, but relationships often become the very place where old wounds surface—and the place where those wounds can finally heal.
Because relationships are one of the most powerful settings for healing.
Each partner carries into the relationship their own story, their own burdens, and their own unique magic. In therapy, my role is to help couples understand how these pieces have both held them together and pushed them apart—and, more importantly, how these same pieces can be rearranged to rebuild something stronger, kinder, and more intimate than before.
When we choose our partners, none of us knows how they will change over the years. Yet change isn’t the enemy—it’s an invitation. A relationship asks us to grow, to soften old defenses, to become more flexible in the dance of connection. When we see our partner evolving, we’re given the chance to look at our own patterns, to stretch in new directions, and to rediscover one another with fresh eyes.
And for couples who feel lost, disconnected, or unsure where to begin…
Therapy offers a space to breathe again. To untangle the knots gently. To hear and be heard. To remember why they chose each other in the first place—and to create something even more beautiful as they move forward together.
Ready to get started? Let's connect!
The first step is often the hardest one. You won't have to do it alone! We're here to answer any questions you might have. Let's connect!
Contact Us
